


Daffodils and Roses

by the-black-birb (moriturism)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Not Beta Read, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, but so are you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:13:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriturism/pseuds/the-black-birb
Summary: Yellow. It was everywhere. Yellow, like his blonde hair. Yellow, like the time he bought you ice cream and you didn’t actually like lemon but you ate it anyways. Yellow, like his golden eyes that saw right through you.You lurched forward in the toilet again, lungs heaving.You were so in love with him you thought you could die.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 210





	1. Daffodils

**Author's Note:**

> Hanahki disease is an illness born from unrequited love. The person afflicted with hanahaki disease will cough up petals and flowers. The petals will go away if their feelings go away, or if their love is returned.

_Daffodils are indicative of rebirth and new beginnings. It also means unrequited love. Many daffodils indicate happiness, but a single daffodil suggests misfortune._

You had always thought daffodils were beautiful flowers, but suddenly the sight of them made you sick.

They were everywhere. Spilling over from the toilet seat, littering the floor. When it first started, there had only been one petal. One becomes two and you thought nothing of it.

Hanahaki was common in high school. You’d seen your friends go through it. One day, someone would catch their eye and they’d be coughing up a few petals. The next, they’d confess or move on. Their feelings were returned, or they had no feelings anymore. They were _fine_ so you would be too, right?

Except here you were, slouched over a toilet seat with whole flowers bursting from your lungs. Stems were starting to come up too, and it burned the back of your throat. But still, your love remained unrequited.

It should’ve been easy to get through it. You weren’t _dumb,_ you knew who the flowers were meant for. Tsukishima Kei. Number 11 on the Karasuno volleyball team, and your harmless crush. But harmless can only go far as you were constantly being reminded of him. _Yellow._ It was everywhere. Yellow, like his blonde hair. Yellow, like the time he bought you ice cream and you didn’t actually like lemon but you ate it anyway. Yellow, like his golden eyes that saw right through you.

You lurched forward in the toilet again, lungs heaving.

You were so in love with him you thought you could die. 


	2. Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tsukishima is just as stubborn as you.

_Roses are a symbol for love and enduring passion. A red rose will always be a way to say “I love you.”_

Tsukishima pretends not to notice it when you stop watching their practices. At first, you barely watched them at all, occasionally stopping by to help Yachi. But you were friendly, and so was the team, and soon you were their unofficial third manager.

Tsukishima pretends not to care.

But he doesn’t complain about it, either. You showing up to practice means getting to see you more often. It means walking home together, and it means you save him the last strawberry cupcake when you make snacks for the team.

Lately, though, he can’t stand strawberry. He can’t stand seeing strawberries, or the red tulips on the way to school. _Red_ like when you paint your nails brightly, even if it’s against school rules. Red like when you bought him a good luck charm before their first qualifying match. Just thinking about the color makes his throat itch.

At first, when you stop showing up he thinks it’ll be good for him. Maybe he’ll stop getting these pesky roses caught up in his throat, and he’ll stop thinking of you. It was just a petal or two, after all.

But then the team starts to talk. You were never _really_ a part of their team, but it’s the longest you’ve been gone since you started helping out, so of course they’d notice.

“Where is (name), I miss her snacks,” Nishinoya moans one day during their break. Tanaka adds fuel to the fire.

“It was so nice with three cute girls around,” he swoons. “(Name) being around meant Kiyoko spoke more too…” he trails off. Tanaka and Nishinoya go back and forth, discussing the different ways her absence makes the gym feel just a little larger.

Without her, it’s like something is missing.

Tsukishima takes a drink of water, washing down the taste of blood. He’s used to it by now.

“I tried asking her about it during lunch, she said she needed time to… to heal?” Hinata says obliviously. “Maybe she hurt her leg or something. But she looked as cute as ever to me.”

Tsukishima pictures Hinata walking into her classroom during lunch. He says it so casually, like maybe he does it every day. And he pictures her smiling at him so clearly, like she always did. Her smile, which was not saved for him, and could brighten anyone’s day.

“Excuse me.” Tsukishima stands abruptly, breaking the flow of the conversation. He heads to the bathroom, one hand clutching at his stomach.


	3. The End

You’re certainly not dumb, but you are stubborn. Stubborn in how you dress, regardless of school rules, and how you won’t let anyone speak badly about your friends.

But right now, you are stubborn in your own feelings. You won’t tell Tsukishima. No, you _can’t_ tell Tsukishima. Because you remember the feeling of his hand in yours, when you wrapped his fingers for a practice game. And you remember how he looked at you, like you were the only person in the world.

Telling him means you risk losing him, and you wouldn’t give him up. Not for the entire world.

Tsukishima is no better. He _knows_ he’s better off getting rejected and breathing easy. Once you tell him you don’t feel the same, he can move on. At least then he’ll _know._

But then he thinks about practice without you. He thinks about walking home without you by his side, and maybe that’s what he’s doing right now. But that’s temporary. If he told you and you said _no_ that would be permanent.

He was suffering, feeling thorns rip at his heart. But if it meant seeing you again, maybe it was worth it.

That’s what he thinks, doubled over outside the gym. He couldn’t even make it to the bathrooms without the flowers flooding from his mouth.

His ears are flooded by the sound of his coughing, scratchy and breathy. He’s gasping for air, praying for it. He swore he’d never take breathing for granted again. But hidden by the sound of his vicious cough, he hears cheering from the gym. They sound _happy_ and he’s immediately jealous of it.

So carefree, he thinks, and so foolish. What could possibly be so important that they’d have that much energy after such a long practice? The only thing he could possibly think of…

Is you.

It’s you, walking out of the gym doors. You smile at the team members unconditionally, and wave goodbye. “I was just stopping by for a moment!” you laugh, and it sounds like you’re choking.

He knows that sound.

You haven’t noticed him yet, so he tries to stay as still as possible. You look up and sigh, your smile from before long gone. The sun is setting and the way it lights your face makes you look like an angel, he thinks.

But you look angry. The auburn sun lights up the buildings, and you stare at it like a disgrace. He’s never seen hatred look so beautiful.

Suddenly, he is coughing again and all that staying quiet is for naught.

“Tsukishima!” he hears you exclaim, but he’s too distracted by the roses falling from his lips. There are whole flowers now, almost like a bouquet. He looks at them like you look at the sunset.

You want to get closer to him, and to tell him it will be alright. His feelings are temporary, and this moment will pass. You know, because you’ve been there. Doubled over, and hating how in love you were.

But you get close to him and feel something lodged in your throat. You tear up, trying to keep it down. He needs help right now, before you. You think of all the things you could say to him. All of the things you wish someone had said to you.

“Who?” is all you manage to get out, and it’s barely above a whisper. He hears it clearly though, your voice like a prayer and him a devout follower. His coughing fit has subsided, but there are still petals following from his mouth. He looks at you, and your bright red nails, eyes seething with hatred.

“Who else?” he dismisses, but you don’t understand. And then, he coughs one more time and there is yellow mixed in with the red. He coughs up a single daffodil.

You want to hate him for it. You see yellow and think of him and it makes you _furious._ But right now, all you can think of is how easy it is for you to breathe.

Tsukishima heaves in, coughing finally coming to an end. He looks up at you, and you are crying, but you’re also smiling.

He breathes in deeply. His lungs shutter, not used to being able to fill up so completely.

Suddenly, he is crying, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! It's been months since I posted, but I had this idea and I needed to get it down.


End file.
